My heart hurts
As a little boy, I would frequently tell my Mother that my heart hurt. I was afraid to go outside to play, afraid to speak to others, and scared to walk to the school bus. I lived in constant fear and anxiety even though I had a tremendous feeling of purpose for life. Because of my fears, I made choices that didn’t serve me. I would choose to play inside rather than play outside and make new friends. I would make up excuses not to attend social gatherings. Blind spots make us fall into a similar pattern where the choices that we make don’t align with the goals or vision we have for ourselves leaving us trying to navigate through a path that feels cluttered, foggy, and dark.
My wife’s diagnosis
Two summers ago, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer at exactly one month before one of my life long dreams would come true. One month after my wife’s diagnosis, my book “The Hart Method” was published. I had a plan of action and a vision to follow through on with the publishing of my book and the accomplishment of my goal. The plan was to continue training athletes, book speaking opportunities, train teams, do a book tour, and expand on my passion by sharing through online platforms. Unfortunately, that vision became foggy, unstable, and ultimately came to a stop. When we received the news of my wife’s diagnosis, we were at the beach enjoying a hot summer day with our family. Upon hearing the news, my heart sank, my feet went numb, and tears were shed. I became paralyzed.
Paralysis because of fear
For the last two years, I have been at a standstill and didn’t even know. I lost connection to my body. I didn’t feel grounded and was having a difficult time navigating through my emotions. My level of motivation, creativity, and will have been extremely low. The uncertainty of my wife’s health landed me into a dark cave for protection but hidden from the outside world to leave me with a feeling of disconnection. I was out in the world but out of my body. That blind spot I had as a little boy came back and I didn’t even know it. The choices I was making were not aligning with the vision in my heart. Like that little boy, In spite of my fears, I held a vision of hope and accomplishing great things. I knew that I would move beyond my fears, beyond my self-doubt, and beyond the chains that I put upon myself. Now as an adult, I still have those two parts to my heart. One side of pain and the other side of hope. I am committed to going out of my cave no matter how scary it may seem.
I know and trust that there is support around me but I do know that ultimately it’s up to me to step out of my darkness to see the light of day. I have a Father and child inside of me. The Father in me tells the child inside of me that everything will be alright. The child inside of me trusts that it will. We all have blind spots within. Life has a way of revealing our blind spots and usually in the form of trauma for us to see, to feel, and ultimately to continue to move forward without having to go into our dark cave for protection. We can very well still be children experiencing and projecting our traumas and leaving us feeling stuck, unmotivated, and depressed. Maybe traumas aren’t meant to be eliminated. Rather, maybe traumas are there for us to acknowledge for us to develop a greater sense of compassion, awareness, and love for ourselves to clear our path through the power of vulnerability together with the courage and strength to express ourselves authentically.
8 things you can do to reveal your blind spots and clear your path
- Reflect at the end of your day and look at the choices you made. Ask yourself if your choices served you? Why or why not?
- Ask your peers, friends, relatives, and partners how they view you or better yet, ask those individuals that raised you how you were as a child.
- Reconnect to your past and be open and honest about your fears, limitations, and circumstances that bring you anxiety.
- Reflect on your own life and the major setbacks that you experienced and connect the dots to another setback later in life.
- Quiet your mental chatter and clear the space by meditating or engaging in activities that keep your present like exercise or creating something with your own two hands.
- Start a personal journal and write openly!
- Express your emotions authentically to others. When someone asks you how you are doing, tell them the truth!
- Allow yourself to feel without judgment.
Rewire, Reconnect, and Remember.